I had the greatest Mom and Grandma in the world. However they were ill fortified for the job at hand.

My sister and I grew up in a house where if Kathy wasn’t setting the refrigerator on fire, John was beating down a door because he was high. It’s no wonder my mom got married at 19. I would choose escape to as well. Plus Kristin was only two months when my dad split. My mom could only deal with one kid at a time, and it wasn’t me.

The last three weeks, I’ve had to do a lot of acceptance. My dad left because he was sick. My mom had more on her plate than anybody could deal with, I was the easiest to get left behind. It doesn’t mean she didn’t love me or meant to abandon me, but she did emotionally. My Bubbie, who I love more than anything, just had too many sad children because of Grandpa. These things are hard to accept.

They also liberate, I can finally say it wasn’t me. I wish I knew that at 8.