It’s 1:00am, I can’t sleep. A memory ran through my head of me saying to the waitress, “We’re old, but he’s older”, and how you laughed.

Almost two years later, it should be easier, in many ways it is, in some ways it’s not. I miss your laugh and your smile. I miss my friend, so much sometimes it hurts.

I was chatting with somebody today about why I’ve been out of the game for so long, Why I did something stupid like go out with a 29-year-old., and the only thing that came to mind, because I cannot handle another heartbreak.

When you told me you couldn’t even meet for coffee and just talk, I knew I’d lost one of my best friends. I sunk into the deepest depression of my life. For the last 4 months I had to take an anti-depressant that almost killed me, literally.

I’m not blaming you AT ALL, I blame myself. The situation was complicated, and I knew that from the get-go. However, you made me believe you loved me deeply, and I believe you did, regardless of things that were said later. You don’t come running to hold somebody crying when they’ve had a bad day because you don’t care.

I still love you, and I think you know, I always will. I’ve been trying to move on, but you are always in my thoughts. Even when I was in the hospital, I thought of you. You have been so important to me. I am so thankful I met you, and the lessons you taught me. You set the bar for all other relationships.

So where is this going, I see you on FB all the time now. Something I haven’t seen happen in a long time. My only thought is please G-d, don’t let him being doing this to somebody else, because somebody else will have a lot less respect.

I really hope, my love, you are taking your issues seriously. I only want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted.

I am wishing you a wonderful August wherever you are off to…., much love, peace and joy. Just know, I want my friend back, I know it won’t happen, but I miss you madly. Please don’t hurt anybody else.

I love you always, and see you in the next life……with all my heart.