OK so technically I’m not divorced, sigh (see cloud above head with picture of ex handing over the Get), but for all intents and purposes (except child support) I am, but that’s not the point.

I’ve always laughed at my friends that use sites like Jdate to meet people (OK perhaps I’m a snob), but they seem a) impersonal and b) I mean really, you never know what you’re going to get.  However, in honesty, I must admit  that I’ve met quite a few really nice people (ok, and a foot scratcher and incessant talker) on FB.  But I’ve never really had a relationship that started online, ok one exception, so maybe I’m biased.

However, what blows my mind is the amount of weirdos, and sigh, married men that are constantly sending requests and private messages. For example, a total and complete stranger sent me a message last month. Basically he was looking for an S & M partner for himself and his wife.  I must admit, I let him hang himself. I often answer the weirdos,  just because I find them so entertaining in a really sick kind of way. But this dude was off the charts, and after I had to google what he wanted, I blocked him.

But what really saddens me is the married men.  OK I know people who have had loving relationships outside the marriage and were torn up by it, emotionally and psychologically. And in the end, made the right decision to fix the marriage.  That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the sleaze bags.

And you always know, you open their profile and they have some bogus name and fake picture (or the classic man with shirt off, pants unbuttoned, and no head. I mean really, even if the guy was single, what a friggen turn off).  Their personal details are never filled out, basically it just smells funky.

It seems the last two weeks my profile has been posted on some dating site for “men in open marriages” because my FB inbox has been bombarded.   I find myself not even bothering to read them (and generally I find them entertaining, one person sent me this quote,  “Adultery – which is the only grounds for divorce in New York – is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.  – Allan Sherman”.  I admit, I LOL, rolled my eyes, and deleted the message.  At least he was original.

They always contains the same basic blah blah blah, and internally it I always find myself answering them, like:

Them: I have an open marriage.

Me: Really, does your wife know it’s open?

Them:  I don’t want to break up my marriage, because I love my wife and kids. But my sex life is very bad.

Me:  And so you thought what…..

Them: Because you’re divorced with kids, I figured you wouldn’t be looking for a committed relationship.

Me: So you thought, divorced with kids = desperate. Here let me open my legs wide, so that I can give you a swift kick in the ass.

Them: We can just have fun.

Me: For this kind of fun, let me suggest the Bursa at night or Tel Baruch.

I actually don’t mean to sound bitter, I actually laugh at most of them. I mean, like come on, does this work.  Really, are there women out there, who are willingly going to mess with somebody else’s marriage. 1) He’s never going to leave her 2) How would you feel if it was your marriage 3) even if it’s just shtupping, somebody is going to get hurt. Just seems like I could be doing more productive things with my time,  like scrubbing the floor.

Personally, I don’t care if 2010, and the rules of marriage have changed. Heck marriage for love is only about 300 years old. I think in many cases today, marriage for love moves into the “business of marriage” stage. It’s the natural progression of the things I think.

To quote Joan Collins (don’t tell my mother, she’ll start rolling if she knows I quoted her) , “According to my sister, the expert novelist Jackie Collins, most men stray. And sex doesn’t mean anything to most men. But I wouldn’t date a man who slept around.  Absolutely not. I’ve divorced people for that.”

I guess that’s what you call an expert opinion.