Have you ever stood in the presence of another human being that immediately calmed you. It’s an immediate chemical reaction that works better than Xannax.  You feel the apprehension wash way with the touch of hand, and a smile can placate your soul.

If you had asked me six months ago if such a thing existed, I would have laughed in your face. At  the very least I would have rolled my eyes, and then puked.

The Yoga Master has restored my faith in men, and in that respect I was pretty faithless.  Now don’t go getting your panties in a knot, this doesn’t mean that I’m changing my FB status to in a relationship, cause folks we aren’t there, and we aren’t going there either.

In fact, he’s been gone for the last month, traveling the world, and I’ve been dealing with the dog days of August.  We’ve talked and messaged, but I feel guilty for talking about what’s going on here, because they’re not his problems.  But if he was here, this is what I’d say.

I miss your laughter.  I miss learning from you everyday. I miss your wisdom. I miss my friend, maybe one of my best friends (that’s so weird to say, considering the short time we’ve known each other).  The first time you walked through the door, I was a skeptic, I’d given up believing I was worthy of  affection. When I was beaten down, you lifted me up.

You gave me the gift of light.  I’ve changed my perception of me, because I could see myself reflected back by you.  I miss falling into you and the strength I get from your arms.  I miss the beach, and I miss simply sitting beside you. If I believed in mediation and the umming you do, you would be my Yoga Master.

Maybe that’s why I finding myself retreating from you. I want to push you out the door, slam it shut, and double lock it. But I can’t do that, cause when you stand beside me, it’s like floating in the ocean. You wash over me and I feel at peace.

You are my soul mate, but not in the Bershert kind of way. In the  Eat, Pray, Love (yes I know it’s already trite) kind of way, “A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.  A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.  But to live with a soul mate forever.  Nah.  Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself  to you, and then they leave.  And thank God for it.”

I love you Yoga Master. That’s what I wanted to say last night. Instead all the words get muddled and I don’t say what I mean. I’m a horrible public speaker,  but when I write, I mean every word. I mean them, because I think them before I write them (even if I can’t spell them).

You’re one of the best humans I’ve ever met. Your grace and love has changed my life.

And we’re not talking about this again.

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