The last couple of weeks have been really hard. So I’ve been going back to the journal my mother kept the last year of her life. This was her last entry, and it’s for Yoni and Eitan:

April 15, 2006

Yoni and Eitan, Eitan and Yoni,

Grand Ema is being a bit pokey about finishing up this journal – but I am thinking, thinking, thinking about you all the time. Yoni, you said “Grandma” to me on the phone. Eitan I heard you say “Oh Gosh” today. How very amusing!

You make Grandma laugh. Anyway I have some more pictures to add here from your holiday trip but I wanted to tell you today, because I have thinking about it all day. Yoni and Eitan, Eitan and Yoni. You are my dream! I think about you and love you all of the  time.

Grandma got a big  Oy vey that her doctors are trying to make go away. That’s why I haven’t been able to visit you as much as she did before. This makes the wound hurt more. Not seeing you and your mommy hurts Grandma’s heart, but in sweet way because thinking of you brings me joy and happiness.  I love you so much. The happiest day of my life will be when I see you again.

In the meantime I want your daddy and Mommy to begin to teach you Torah. It will bring you peace and the it’s the key to happiness and a life with true meaning.

Grandma has been very fortunate to study some Torah lately and it helps me greatly. The Word of Hashem fills me with wonder and amazement and learning is a never-ending wonder.

OK I just wanted to let you know you are always on my mind and always in my heart.

Love, Grandma.

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Mommy, nothing is the same since you’re gone. I love you, and we miss you, and need you and Bubbie.

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