My entire life I’ve straddled two religions, I was literally born into it.  You name the religion, someone in my family belongs to it.  Let me be clear, I am, practice, and pray as a Jew.  This is the religion of my mother and her mother, and to me it is my birthright.

However, I have a passion for studying the early church,  how the bible was canonized, and how it is represented in art. I find the early Catholic church fascinating. It is mind-blowing how the words of a brilliant Jewish rabbi became so corrupted by men seeking power in the name of G-d.

I have no problem with the teachings of Jesus as the appear in the Gnostic Gospels, but I have a major problem with the institution of Christianity,  more specifically the Catholic Church. Just as Hasidic Jews drive me up a wall, so do Christians that do not understand or even want to know about the historical facts that surrounded Jesus.

I would argue that you cannot understand the depths of what Jesus was saying unless you understand the history and the dynamics of what was going on around him. So what does this have to do with dating, well…..

About a year ago, somebody I’ve known a long time (since middle school) added me to their FB list. Now I greatly admire this person’s courage. They had a lot to deal with growing up, and where we grew up  it was pretty WASPy.  So if you were different in any way,  you were going to eat a lot of crap.  He towed the line, so I was happy to accept the request.

Well it took about one conversation for my eyes to roll.  I think it started like “hey, how you been. I’m a born again Christian and I believe if you don’t believe like I do that you’re going to burn in hell”.

****sigh******

OK let’s ignore the comment. But some how every conversation revolved around “Being a Good Christian”.  Now I know a lot of really amazing Christians, and I love them and respect their beliefs. But just like the “words he’s a religious and good Jew” make me cringe, so does the phrase “a good Christian”.  Certainly  if you are, your actions speak louder than those three words.  And yet it came up in every single conversation.

Recently we had a conversation about his father’s death. I kid you not, he said, “I believe my father was a Christian and is in heaven now. Not like my uncle, who wasn’t saved, so he’s burning in hell”.

I was flabbergasted. I mean even if that’s what you believe, why would you make that comment.  Then he went into a tirade about how anybody that isn’t saved is going to burn.  He basically explained to me that my mother’s entire family are marshmallows.

At this point, I was kind of fed up,  and I said to him, “You know I think that perhaps you’re missing the bigger or if not the just as big picture of what Jesus was saying.  Like do you get he was teaching charity, love for others, honoring others and G-d?   The whole doctrine on heaven and hell was written 300 years after he died (and if you believe rose again).  Maybe you should focus on that rather than whether or not somebody toes are going to be  held over the fire.”

To say the least, he did not like my answer.

A few weeks had gone by, and he hadn’t tried to chat, which was a bit of a relief.  And then, yes……he pinged me on FB chat.  ” Hi, how are you blah blah blah”

I thought about faking like I didn’t see it, but felt myself feeling bad for the guy.  The conversation went like this:

Me: “Hey, I hope you’re feeling better”

Him: “A bit. Been doing a lot of praying looking for answers”.

Me: “That’s great, I hope your finding the answers you’re looking for”.

Him: “Well it’s been a rough patch. But I believe it will get better. Hey you know I was thinking, it’s too bad you live so far  away. ”

Me:” “Why (Oh G-d here it comes)”

Him: “Cause we’ve had some really deep conversations, and you’re just the type of person I’d like to date. Plus you’re really pretty. And even if you won’t have eternal life, it might be fun to go out. ”

And there it is, the single worst pick-up line  in the history of the world.

So in the meantime, I think I’m going to stick with Jewish men or Buddhists. At least I don’t have to worry about being BBQed if the date goes bad.

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