There are things I miss about Seattle. I miss people not pushing in line.  I miss people saying please and thank you and excuse me (I really miss excuse me). I miss people holding the door open for the next person and I miss not having to kiss strangers or at least semi-strangers.

Anybody that has travelled in the Mediterranean knows the drill, you meet somebody you kiss them. You go to a party you kiss them, hell, weddings, bar mitzvahs, birthday parties they all just big kissingfest. It’s the two cheeks kiss thing, and I am not big on it. Let me rephrase, I hate it.  But then I don’t do touchy-feeling, perky, happy, very well either.

If I’m going to have to buy you a present for some rite of passage event, then the very least you can do it not kiss me. I don’t want to kiss you, your mother, your brother, your grandmother, or your wierd Uncle Shimon that totally gives me the creeps. Here’s your present, please point to the direction of the bar, and leave my cheeks alone.

It is no wonder my ex-husband’s family thinks I’m anti-social.  But the hypocrisy in not liking somebody, but then going to a family event, and having to kiss them is blinding to me. Weirder yet is going to a co-workers family event and having to kiss them. Yuck.  I’ll break bread with you, drink with you, even cry with you, but keep your lips off of me. In fact I often avoid family/friend events because the random kissing is weird to me. Yes I know, there must be something wrong with me.

Which isn’t to say I don’t like kissing, I kiss my kids all the time. This New Years Eve I even got busted by some friends having a random  snog (but it was after midnight and there was lots and lots of wine).  But even having a snog isn’t really the same as being forced to randomly kiss. In fact I rather like snogging,  and often miss it if it’s been a while.

I wonder if people randomly kiss in cold climate like Sweden or Iceland, where everybody is politically correct about everything.  I think the random kissing goes with the Middle East heat, the pushing and shoving, the yelling, and rudeness.  Living in a society where everybody is “hot”  both figuratively and literally must be the key to random kissing. Or maybe it’s just a means for releasing  hot air.

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