Somebody I care a lot about sent me a blog on being at peace.  If was written by one of those Yogi master types (makes me think of the Love Guru, no disrespected intended).  It had all the stuff about letting go of anger, disappointment, etc. But there was nothing about Joy, Laughter, Faith, and Love.

For me there cannot be peace without love, I’m not talking political peace, I mean personal peace. I mean after all Israel has Peace with Jordan and Egypt……

So I took the article and broke down what peace means to me:

Anger – I let my anger go long go for the big things that have happened a while ago. Anger and Resentment eat you from the inside out, and leave no room for growth or love. I gave that one back to g-d after my mom died. Are there issues that arose from the “big events” in my life, without a doubt.   There is no room in my life for anger and resentment anymore, it takes too much and the cost for keeping it inside is way to high.

Fear – There is only one area I really fear of late, and this will pass, in time. And I fear it only because of how it may affect my kids. I don’t fear it for me, but rather how it impacts them.

Failure – Everybody fails, everybody fucks up, some of us do it bigger, some of us do it better but everybody does it. That’s the human experience.

Hurt and Pain – Harder for me, but not because of anger, but because of self judgement. Meaning I need to understand these in the way I understand failure. Being hurt does not feel good, period. It takes me time to move beyond it. It’s taken me a year 2 months and 8 days to move beyond the crappiest things that Ilan said to me, that ended our relationship for good. But that’s because I am who I am, and that is not a bad thing.

Here’s what’s missing from the blog for me:

Joy – I must have joy to have peace. Peace without joy means nothing. Without joy we live in the day in and day out, but we live without animation.

Love – I don’t care what you say, all humans strive for love. The touch of our parents as children and as adults, the touch of our children, and yes we live for the touch of our lovers. When I say lovers, be it wives, husbands, partners, etc, I mean the people who sit in a different place in our souls.

I don’t know why this is considered a weakness by so many men and women. It is love that lifts us up and holds us strong. What would my life be without love, my friends love, my children’s love, and the men I have loved. From each one, for better or worse, I took something important away from the relationship.

It is sad to me that the word “love” has become so weighed down by expectations between people. I love my friends because their souls are wonderful spirits. I love my children because they are a reflection of the good and the bad in me. I love the person  who sent me the blog, because they calm me and their spirit shines. There are no expectations in that type of love. I wish we could just allow ourselves to be move by the spirit of love and not be the expectations of what “I love you” has come to mean.

Paul wrote, “And now abideth faith, hope, love – these three, but the greatest of these is love”, see
You cannot have peace if you’ve never known love.

Laughter – A home without levity is not a happy place. I cannot be at peace or build a peaceful home without it. It brings us joy. Nothing brings peace to a hard day or to a cluttered mind like the ability to throw back your head in fits of unbridled laughter. Nothing feels better, or at least to me.

Faith – I cannot achieve peace without faith. I must have faith that all things are from a power larger and more glorious than myself. I have faith in the universe that all things are as they should be. I have faith that G-d never gives us more than we can bear. I have faith that I am the reflection of G-d in all things that are good. Without this faith I cannot have peace.

Balance – For me peace is balance. It is the ability to take all of the above and combined them in a way that allows me to be me. To be true to myself and what I need. Often I fail at balance, because too much resentment and anger gets mixed in, but then I remember that I choose to no longer let those have a hold over me.

Everything in the article is true, but for me they left out a lot of the good stuff that I must have to achieve peace.