Last week I found myself in the emergency room because my blood pressure had spiked, I was having heart palpitations, and I couldn’t feel the left side of my body. People don’t have strokes at 38. And I was lucky, cause high blood pressure and strokes run in the family. When the doctor told me he thought it was stress, my only thought was “there but for the grace of G-d”. But before that, when I was waiting I had a different thought,  “Who will tell my ninjas how much I love them”. That is what this blog and a blog I’ll write about Eitan are all about.

One of the last things I remember my mother saying to me was that I need to put cream on my ankles because they were cracked. This was typical, that is not the way I want Yoni and Eitan to remember me.

When I went into labor with Yoni and Eitan I was at 39 weeks and 6 days. This for multiples almost never happens. Yoni got stuck for two hours. I beg ged the doctor for a C-section but he wasn’t having it. In the end they suctioned him out.

Two things happened when we saw him, first we called him “Cone Head” cause he was, and then my mother and I had the same thought, “he looks just like Noam”.

Noam is Oren’s brother and our relationship was not good. But as soon as my mother said what she thought, I knew I had to protect Yoni from becoming less in her eyes than Eitan. In her reaction to Yoni, I saw her reaction to me my entire life to me. It was like being part of her, but the part she always needed to correct. Funny if you look at Yoni today he is the spitting image of my mother.

But this is what Yoni is to me…..

Yoni is my sunshine child. I named him Yoni cause to me it was a happy name. He’s the kid that walks into a room with a smile so bright you can’t see straight. He’s the kid that wraps you around his finger because he’s so damn cute.  Being Yoni’s mom means you get to listen to his laugh, it is the most amazing sound ever. He cackles and snorts (like me). He says he loves you all the time. To get out of trouble he’ll fiend ignorance. He is the most joyous person I’ve ever met. I cannot believe I’ve been so blessed.

Yoni’s eyes light up when he laughs, it’s like an infection, and you laugh along even if it’s a silly knock knock joke, or if you’re watching Zohan for the 50th time. Because Yoni saying “smell it, smell it, now take it” is hysterical.

He is also the first to help me when I need help. Eitan often is too busy being my Galileo to help. He wants to talk reason, where Yoni just wants to get it done.  He helps me around the house, and although this isn’t fair, he helps me if he hears me crying at night. He’ll sneak quietly into my room, and then into my bed. And in his thick Israeli accent, he’ll say in English, “Don’t cry Mommy. I love you”.

And if G-d forbid something ever happened to me this is what I’d want him to know: He gave me nachas. His laughter gave me joy everyday. His smile lit up my world. He was one of the best people I ever met. Most importantly every time I looked in his eyes and saw that joyous light, I knew that there was hope.

I love you Yoni.