I actually took  this person off my FB list to write this, but the truth is, we’ve haven’t talked since we went out.

Recently I went out with a friend of a friend. He was English, I mean how bad could he be.

Reserve your judgement.

First he calls me up and says,”You know, let’s meet at Le Brasserie”. Like my favorite restaurant in TLV. But of course, sigh, I felt bad cause it was expensive, and would not expect my date to pay for dinner there. So I offered something more laid back. He said great let’s meet at 9:30.

So 9:30 rolls around, I show up, he’s late. He shows up in berumdas, shirt, and not showered. UGH. He strolls up, says “Hi, you know what this place is out of control let’s go somewhere else”.

“OK I think, I’m zoremet (goes with the flow?)”. We start to walk, and walk, and walk, passing a couple of descent places. Then he sees an Aroma, yes Aroma, and says, “hey let’s go here”.  In one mighty swoop I’ve gone from a 5 star restaurant to Starbucks.

And for some reason I hear myself saying, “OK”. So of course  I order coffee and Pellagrino, i.e, RX  of choice.  Not two minutes after we sit down he says, “Are those real or silicone”.

See mouth fall open.  He follows it up with “Cause that set would be perfect for a tattoo”.

See jaw drop to floor. “Um, well, um…you know the whole thing about Jews and tattoos” I think I muttered like a dumb ass. Now I’m looking  for how to get out of this quickly.

Maybe 20 minutes pass, the next thing I know his shoes are off, his feet are on my lap, and I kid you not he says,  “This is not sexual, but would you mind tickling my feet”.

I find myself making like Helen Thomas, and running for the door.